Planning a Wiccan wedding?

[guenevere]

Hi all,

my fiance and I are getting married in October of 2012, and we've decided that the best way to cut down on our stress then is to get as much out of the way as we can now: booking our venue, finding our vendors for wedding cake, catering, etc, obtaining our wedding rings...pretty much everything we'll need for the ceremony except, um, the ceremony itself.
I feel very strongly about wanting to have my practice of Wicca color our wedding ceremony. He isn't particularly religious, but respects my faith and is interested, so all systems are go.
Our officiant is actually Christian. She's the friend responsible for introducing us, and when we approached her about performing our wedding ceremony, letting her know that it would be at least influenced by Wiccan ritual, she agreed right away I thought it was the most wonderful gift she could give us, but that brings me to my next point.

We do want to make sure that our ceremony is something that our friends and relatives (many of who come from different faiths) are at least comfortable sitting through for a short while. I would be interested to know if anyone here has been in a similar situation, or has any suggestions. Suggestions for the actual wording would be wonderful, too...I'd like to combine our own ideas with ritual handfasting, and while I've been looking at rituals at places like paganlibrary.com, nothing is really leaping out at me yet.

TL;DR: I want a wedding that reflects my Wiccan faith but won't leave some of my more traditional guests completely appalled. Definitely recognizing the presence of the male and female divine (including plunging an athame into a chalice), and the presence of the elementals, but maybe without actually invoking the elements, casting a circle, etc...I don't know. I've never tried to plan a wedding or write a ceremony before I am excited and open to suggestions!

[Gryphon]

First -Congratulations!

When Red and I got handfasted, our ceremony was a condensed version of the Great Rite from Janet Farrar's book.

We had one handfasting on the East Coast for my friends and relations and another 6 months later in the MidWest for Red's friends and relations.

Circle was cast and Elementals and God and Goddess called.

At the MidWest ceremony one woman came up and said she'd never been to a Jewish wedding before and it was beautiful. She was a tiny little grandma of one of our Pagan guests, so no one bothered to correct her.

At the East Coast ceremony, there were several deeply religious people from other faiths. One, a Christian, said she was honored to be included and the ritual was so wonderful it made her cry. Another, a Jew, said nothing until many years later, when she said she was very uncomfortable. When I asked her why, she couldn't answer.

This day is for YOU and YOUR intended. Do what pleases you, what has meaning to you, what will remain special for you in the years to come. I have found when you try and please everyone but yourself, no one is happy. And on the other side of the coin, you can't please everyone. Even in a completely traditional wedding there is bound to be someone who has some sort of complaint.

[Lark]

Congratulations to you and your beloved.  I wish you both the best.

You might want to look at a handfasting my Trad has used when those taking part in the ceremony were not all Pagan.  It has some Pagan flavor if you know what you're looking for, but it won't distress those who aren't Pagan either.  One can either cast the circle discretely beforehand, or you can do it with everyone watching, that's up to you.  We've done it beforehand and outlined the circle with flower petals...leaving a gate that could be closed when the couple entered the circle.  You can find the ritual at http://www.tangledmoon.org/oath-handfast.htm

Something else that we've done to let guests participate is to have an empty vase on the altar.  Each guest brings in a flower..say white if they are a guest of the bride, or red if they are a guest of the groom.  The flowers are then placed in the vase to represent the union of the two people.

-Lark-

[guenevere]

Gryphon and Lark, thank you both for the congratulations and the advice. My beloved and I are still a little on the fence about what our ceremony is going to be like, but we're starting to lean more towards doing what we want without being as ambiguous as maybe we first thought, because, hey...like Gryphon pointed out, it's our wedding. I think our family and friends should be able to sit through a ritual, even if it's not precisely what they're used to. If they opt out, that's fine too.
Lark, thanks so much for suggesting the OATh ritual -having a template for the wording helps a lot!
I guess for now we'll just keep working hard at putting the whole thing together, and I'll let everyone know how it's coming along.
Thanks again, and blessings,
Guenevere