All trouble here.....

[Still Kate]

Sorry I haven't been on the board for a while. Ryans father IS now going to take me to Court for access to Ryan, despite the fact Ryan is 15 (only 8 months off his 16th birthday)so his father is unlikely to win.   As you can imagine, I have a very unhappy, angry teenager to worry about.

Advice from anyone about helping Ryan get through this  would be great and some energy sent our way too would be more than appreciated.

His father couldn't have picked a better time. Ryan has all his major exams starting in December and obviously he's also intending to try to ruin our Christmas with the stress of it all.
I am determined not to let him spoil Ryans exam chances and his happiness but I've got a fight on my hands.

With lots of love and thanks
Kate. xx

[Brijrian]

Yuck. I have no idea what will help Ryan (unless distraction helps?), but I will be keeping you in my thoughts. Perhaps Ryan's biological will drop it. (I can hope!) Good luck to Ryan on his exams.

[Lark]

Well that's too bad.  I feel sorry for all of you, but especially for Ryan.  I suspect that he's aware by now that all of this isn't because his Dad really cares about him and all about issues of control and power.

Remind Ryan that in a year he will be clear of issues with his Dad, but his exams will have an effect on the rest of his life so that's where his mind needs to be.

Here's to wonderful results on his exams, and a joyful holiday for you and your family.  And hopefully the judge will be just as annoyed with Dad as the rest of us are.

-Lark-

[Inner Beauty]

Thats awful! Well I am sure that what you intend to (fight and just make sure Ryan is happy), is the way to go. Hope it all works out, you never know, he may change his mind and give up the fight.

[Still Kate]

Thank you everyone for your replies, Lark - I've spoken to Ryan about what you've said, that his exams will have an effect on the rest of his life. That seemed to make him sit up and think. 
Unfortunately his father is a very jelous man and he can't stand to see Ryan doing well, most normal fathers would be proud. His father is unemployed, lives in a small bedsit, doesn't see his other 2 children....etc
He doesn't like the fact that Ryan has plans for college, then university (he has plans for that to be in the US), then either running a golf club and teaching, or being a golf pro and teaching.

His father will never drop the case. Its giving him some sort of weird focus in his shallow life at the moment.

I've spoken to my Solicitor yesterday and it wont go to court before Christmas, it will be January / February. Then it has to work in around Ryans exams and revision.

Here's to my Solicitors brains ! 
Love Kate. xx

[Lark]

Ryan sounds like a smart young man with a good head on his shoulders.

Perhaps you might remind him of Aesop's fable about the Dog in the Manger.  His Dad sounds like one of those men who have no ambition of their own, but who resent the fact that they don't have everything they want even if they won't work for it.  So because of that they don't want anyone else to succeed where they failed.  Old Aesop had a pretty good handle on human nature.

And at some point you might also let Ryan know that his Dad is the sort who will show up on his doorstep one day after Ryan makes a successful life for himself and play the sympathy card to get Ryan to give him money or a place to live or whatever.  "After all your poor old Da ain't got the price of a pint!"  He'll need to grow a hard heart and learn quickly how to say no or he'll never be free of the begging.  But that's a tale for him on another day.

Here's to your solicitor!

-Lark-