first time posting...2 questions from a newbie

[southernjade]

hello all
i am southern jade, it's nice to meet everyone
i am hoping to learn a lot from everyone here
i am new to studying the craft, but not new to it so to speak
i have known for a very long time this is where i belong, but have just now started to believe it and study.
my year and a day are finally underway
being a solitary newbie though makes things rough when i have a question or two...so this site is (i hope) will be very valuable to me                   
this is my first time posting in the forum (or at least i think i am posting in the forum)
i have two questions actually...

the first...regarding finding one's patron Goddess or God...
should one have both?
i feel i have found who i am closest too...the Goddess Hecate
but should i choose a God as well?  i do not feel the draw of a God...but i realize that could be because i haven't been shown which One yet


the second question...
how do i know if i am doing something correctly?
i have blessed my daughter's room by smudging, and by casting a circle first...then the smudging
i believe i did it right...but how do i know for sure??
i have been somewhat intimidated by the whole thing and uncomfortable about performing anymore rituals or ceremonies
help please!

i'm not sure i can find this post once i post it now...lol
if i do not answer you...my email...southernjade@rocketmail.com

[RedRonin]

Hello and welcome to the board!  Always nice to have a new face around.

Something to keep in mind whenever questions like this come up.....  At no point in time has the Divine appeared in front of any pagan author and stated that something has to be categorically done in a specific fashion.  What is or is not "correct" is a matter of perspective.  Don't get too wrapped up in whether or not a wand goes in this hand or that or other such stuff.

That said, some will say that there's a matter of balance to be considered if/when one chooses a patron.  The female and male energies compliment each other.  Other sides of the conversation will tell you picking one is sufficient.

As to "knowing" if you're doing something right...  again there is no hard-and-fast answer.  If, after your working, you feel a sense of warmth, safety and security in your daughter's room then you've done what you intended to accomplish.  A lot of what you're doing involves having faith in the Divine and confidence in yourself.  And above all, you being the best parent you possibly can will be the greatest working you can perform.  Too often people tend to ignore their own responsibilities and expect a trot around the room with a wand to fix any and all deficiencies.  They then want to fix blame on the dieties when their world isn't perfect.

Like most everything else in life, what you get out of your workings will be a direct reflection of what your put into them.  A clear mind, a good heart and solid focus are your best tools.

Look around the web.  Get some books.  WVOX.com is a great source of information.  Check out some different ideas on performing various rites.  Find something that has a good feel to it.  Whatever you do, don't get all worked up over what's "right".  That is a trap too many fall into.

Trust yourself.

[Brijrian]

Really, really gotta second Red. I remember when I was just starting out I had zero confidence--and it paralyzed me and I didn't really "practice" for years because of it. Wicca/Paganism was a belief of my head and heart, but I rarely had circles or did anything "witchy" (like warding).

Just remember there are a thousand and one ways to do anything in the craft. If it feels right to you (and doesn't harm you or anyone around you), do it, and know that it works. Have faith in yourself. And practice--the more familiar you are with doing whatever ritual you write/ follow the more effective you will be. Because you will gain experience and confidence.

When it comes to patrons, let Them come as They will. I was on this path for 11 years before I had solid patrons--I had visitors (Hecate was one (of many)!) that would pop in and give me some direction for a few months here and there, but none stayed around or felt long term until just this year. I studied with the "generic" God and Goddess forms until then.

If you feel Hecate's call--follow Her. Immerse yourself in Her and Her lore. Don't bother about getting hung up on needing to find your God.  I did that, and of course it never stuck until He was ready to show himself. You can seach all you want, and if He's not ready to come yet (or if you are not emotionally/spiritually/whatever ready to have him) forget it! Just enjoy your time with Hecate. Sometimes you need to hang with just the Goddess for healing and learning before you are ready to achieve the balance of having more than one patron.

[MyValenwind]

Hey there! I'm having a similar issue with my patron deities as well, but mainly it's because of my own minor insecurities, because I'm not sure if I know which Goddess is guiding me. I've looked into clues of who it could be, and I have a hunch of who it might be, but I'm not sure if she's actually there going "hey, it's me, and I choose you"... or somehing like that. Plus with some conversations I've ran into about deities of certain cultures, I've seen some negative reactions about worshipping certain deities of certain cultures. As for my patron God, I think that's going to take some time as well, but I think I'm getting there.

I'm definitely going to agree with the idea that there's a ton of ways to perform yur craft, and you just have to do what feels right and works for you. Sometimes working "by the book" just doesn't work. It's always good to modify things so that way it would feel more personalized, and it helps with putting your own energies in whatever you plan to work. Heck, even tables of correspondences in books might feel a little 'iffy' sometimes.

[Brijrian]

You may have more than one wanting you too...when my patrons descended, it felt more like 14 dieties from one pantheon were clamoring saying "I want you, I want you!". (I was working on a research project on 1 God-Re, and all of the other ones caught my attention really strongly, so by the end of the project I had researched 14--I couldn't stop writing).

I told them that (as flattering as it was) having 14 patrons was too many for me to develop serious relationships with, so please narrow down to 4 max. I spent a week or two meditating and journaling about it, and the ones who answered were Sekhmet, Anpu (Anubis), Ma'at, and Djehuty (Thoth). Sekhmet is the strongest for me, and it is really interesting because looking back on the months before I discovered She was calling me a lot of things were happening that (in retrospect) completely corresponded to Her.

I really love it, because after 11 years of interacting distantly with broad Diety forms, I am finally feeling connected. I can directly communicate and feel heard. I get responses that are directly related to my path, because I finally know Who is claiming me and helping me along it.

He he...I guess I feel wanted and purposeful. Who doesn't like that?  

As for figuring out if you are right on your Diety hunches...Try directly asking the Diety that you think is guiding you if She/He is actually claiming you--or if you're barking up the wrong tree. You can ask however you feel is most personal or powerful. You might try writing a ritual or meditation to get into contact with Him/Her with items or offerings that are sacred to that Diety.

Have confidence in yourself, and don't be surprised if you get a response! If you are right, the Diety will respond in a way that is meaningful to you (a syncronicity, a sound, a thought, a flash of vision, however you recieve messages--you can also ask that direct signs be given to you over the next few days if you are worried about being dense--like me).

It might also be a good time to 'introduce' yourself and formally accept Her/His guidance.

[MyValenwind]

That's really helpful Brijrian, thanks! That certainly makes me feel a bit better.

[Brijrian]

I am super happy to help! It wasn't that long ago when I was new and unsure

Enjoy your journey!