hi

[honu]

i just found this site and i'm hoping for input from fellow pagans. how did you tell your significant other you were a pagan? my husband's a devout lutheran and i don't know how to break the news to him that i've been studying the craft for years. any advise?

[Jennie]

I wish I had an answer for you. For me, this was a big enough deal that I made it clear long before my other got too significant. So did he. We are now a very happy, very pagan, family. There is nothing like keeping a major part of your life secret to destroy trust.

I wish you much luck and many blessings.

Jennie

[RedRonin]

"Honey, I'm pagan."

That should be the sum of it.

He may shriek and run.

He may try to convert you.

He may shrug and say "whatever".

But you'll at least know where you stand.

[Brijrian]

Cheers to both answers.

It may be easier than you think, but there may end up being some trust issues, as was mentioned. I understand your trepidation about speaking up, but I think that your relationship deserves honesty (and so do you!). As soon as I was certain, I told my husband (then of 3 months, but he knew that I was a free-thinking religious explorer long before the final "settling". Still made me nervous though.).

It's rotten living a lie or just plain hiding (in such a close relationship particularly), so good for you for being true to yourself, and honest with others.

[Lark]

That can be a sticky question, but if you have a good relationship based on trust I think it will be less of a problem than you might think.  I would suggest finding some time when you are both relaxed and not pressed for time or other issues and simply explain that you have in fact found your spiritual path.  And then be ready to answer any questions he might have.  There is an excellent book called "When Someone You Love is Wiccan" by Carl McColman which was written specifically to help family members understand a bit about Wicca and what their loved one is doing.  You might pick up a copy to share with him.

And you can always invite him to come here to Branwen's to ask questions of the folks here and for him to get an idea of the sorts of things we talk about and practice.

-Lark-

[smileonsunshine]

no matter what you do dont keep it from him he'll lose his trust for you. Sit him down and tell him you're studying and interested in it, and if hes right  he'll be okay with it. My current boyfriend is Buddhist, and we havent had much trouble with it as long as you both try to respect the others religion and traditions, and try to be open minded to the different beleifs you each have.