cat's not getting on - any suggestions?

[keykeeper]

I'm sure this is a common problem, but any suggestions would be appreciated.

The history:

Next door neighbour had 4 cats - 1 big furry ginger male, 1 big furry black male, 1 big black and white male, 1 tiny little furry grey female.

2 days after we moved in, ginger one moved in with us and stayed.  Lucky he did, he was full of fleas - had a tick (I know), worms, matted fur etc etc.

These neighbours have a teenage son with a severe disability, a few days after we moved in I saw him chasing the small grey female hitting her with a tree branch - eeeck!  I feel sorry for the family, the son is in his late teens and still wears a nappy - mostly that's all he has on in fact.  I worked with people with disabilites for a very long time, so I do understand the challenges, BUT what about the poor little kitty kat???

Unfortunately the ginger cat passed away a few months ago after 5 years with us.  A few weeks before he died, the small grey female appeared at my feet followed a day later by big black furry male.  They spend alot of time here now. They too were flea ridden and had worms, matted fur and generally unhealthy.  Now they are healthy kitties.  The strange thing is, the neighbours never ask about them - I speak to them occasionally and they've never mentioned them.

The problem started when my partner found a kitten - she does NOT like the small grey female which we named squeak. The first time they met the kitten (Kyra) screeched at her, now they just fight whenever they see each other.  Squeak is quite "skitty" and is not very trusting - not surprising really.  My partner has now banned the grey cat from the house and refuses to feed her or anything.  He says she can come back if she stops fighting with Kyra.

So, any suggestions how I can get these two on speaking terms?  I have lots of friends with cats, do you think socialising both of them with other cats would help? Or are they just gonna hate each other for ever?
 

[Jennie]

The cats may not have "belonged" to the next door neighbor. They may have been semi-ferals who simply hung around, hence the lack of interest by the neighbors in where the kitties keep disappearing to.

We have found a few drops of Rescue Remedy in the animals' water makes for smoother transitions when adding in a new animal. It also helps if you can give the two kitties separate territories for a while. That said, cats will typically fight and hiss at each other until they have established who is where in the pride hierarchy, whose territory is where, etc.

[Labrys]

I was going to say, the two little she-kitties are going to fight it out to see who gets to be Queen-kitty.  Only time will tell, tho' oddly, when we had cats and the females KEPT snarling at each other when we were around, they were perfectly civil to each other if no humans were apparent.

Thru' the window from out of doors, we would see them PLAY together---walk in the door, and it was instant kitty-hiss-ville. Good luck, they will take a while ironing it out.

[Lark]

As has been mentioned there are often scuffles when a new cat is introduced into a household until the pecking order is decided.  Something that I do is to have a small cage into which the newest cat is placed along with their food/water dish and a litter pan.  That way they can eat in peace.  And that way they can get the hissing and spitting out of the system without the risk of anyone actually getting hurt.  After a couple of weeks everyone begins to smell the same and the hissing starts to die down.  That's when I start supervised forays into the larger living area for the new cat.  Usually by about a month the problems go away.

Another way to expedite the process is to wash both cats with a scented shampoo.  That gets them to smelling the same a bit faster and takes away that edge of their being a stranger in the house.

-Lark-

[Vanillaangel]

It's a shame that your partner forbids any kindness to the gray kitty, given poor dear is already neglected by her original owners and seeks your home for comfort. No doubt as she knows other cats from her family have been welcomed  there.
This link, I've found, provides some very helpful advice to socialize gray kitty with your Kyra.
Unfortunately, it's going to entail letting gray kitty into your lives for a time, as it's impossible for the two cats to get to know each other from the distance your partner insists upon.


Good luck.