Magical or Menopausal?

[Labrys]

Sometimes I have trouble distinguishing between something mundane and what might be a possible leap forward in special understanding.

The last three or four weeks have brought that to the fore again.  Our real summer weather has started (tho' it took off again the last two days!) and it is the first summer when I have decent heat-blocking windows in place.  So, none of the usual mass-swelter soon as the sun is high.  And I have been noticing an oddity. 

I will pass by an area of the house...the hearth, or the kitchen stove, or at times, just a random area in a bedroom, and I will notice a pronounced temperature change.  Not cold, as in all the old haunting stories, but exceptionally HOT.  Sometimes, as in the kitchen, it is where a burner was on maybe a half hour or more before.  The flame of a smallish spell candle feels like a furnace to me, and lingers in this tangible heat plume when it has been out for a good while.  Sometimes I cannot identify any source at all.  It is not my body that feels hot...it is an area that I can extend my hand towards to feel, and pull my hand back to a normal temp zone.

Everyone knows that menopausal women, even post-menopausals like me are exceptionally temperature sensitive, thus my question.  But this seems pretty new.  I began menopause in earnest the year I built the Labyrinth, having no periods at all the entire time I built it and the month we opened it---it felt like I had stepped into a Welsh legend, surrendering my fertility to the Land of the Dead!  My hot flashes are rare and short-lived now, and never have taken this form of a heat source outside myself.

So, how do I tell?  Is this another aspect of a woman's life or is this possibly a new awareness of energy?  Am I perhaps feeling the spell candle's energy, even when it has burnt to nothing in its brass holder?  Does the kitchen stove hold an energetic signature of satisfying meals prepared?

I haven't been able to land on any way of testing the notion, I am still too 'Whooooa, what was THAT?" about it.
Would be grateful to any women in my age group who could share experiences or ideas about this so I can start to get a handle on it.  I'd like some place to start for experimenting at the very least>

[zombieee]

That is absolutely fascinating.  I am only 21, so I have no idea wether your sensations are unusual or not, but either way, it is extremely interesting! I tried to investigate further with Google, but as far as Google knows, you're pretty unique.

Do you experience these sensations anywhere where there hasn't been a heat source?  If you perform magic without the use of a heat source (candles) do you feel heat lingering?

[spirit]

It certainly doesnt sound menopausal as it is usually an absolute drenching sweat from within, a definitive moment with a bloom of heat rising up the body, to the face, completely overwhelming and can last for far too long.

[Lark]

That's an odd one.  I agree that it does not sound like the hot flashes one gets with menopause.  That heat clearly feels like it is originating inside the body.

Could it be an area that was in sunlight shortly prior to your experience but not at the time you sensed it that might have heated up something in the house that is then releasing the heat?  (Whoa, that was a complicated sentence!)  And have you tried actually touching any objects or surfaces near where you sense the heat to see if it is in an object?

If you can't find a physical source for the heat then I think it would be time to look at other causes.  But frankly I'm not sure what those might end up being.

-Lark-

[Labrys]

Could it be an area that was in sunlight shortly prior to your experience but not at the time you sensed it that might have heated up something in the house that is then releasing the heat?  (Whoa, that was a complicated sentence!)  And have you tried actually touching any objects or surfaces near where you sense the heat to see if it is in an object?

Once or twice in the living room (altar room) I did wonder about sunlight---specially since in the past that would have been a near certainty since the room faces south.  But this has happened at near dawn, as well as at night.  And in the windowless hallway at the other end of the house at least once.  I am boggled a bit.

If you can't find a physical source for the heat then I think it would be time to look at other causes.  But frankly I'm not sure what those might end up being.

-Lark-

This is what I have to explore.  Then another curiousity is, IF this is something outside mundane heat sources, is it new?  Or did the lousy windows heat up my whole house so much as to make me not notice till now?  In other words, is this not a post-crone awareness except by accidental timing of the household tech upgrade, lol?

[Labrys]

It certainly doesnt sound menopausal as it is usually an absolute drenching sweat from within, a definitive moment with a bloom of heat rising up the body, to the face, completely overwhelming and can last for far too long.

Precisely....these don't make me sweat at all.  When I was menopausal, if I got near a heat source...like a stove burner, I would often flash in response.  So, my mind, expecting that noticed THESE heat sensations in preparation for the sweat that never came.

[Labrys]

Do you experience these sensations anywhere where there hasn't been a heat source?  If you perform magic without the use of a heat source (candles) do you feel heat lingering?

On at least two occasions, yes, felt the heat in the family room and hallway...neither have windows or candles, no heat source.  The second question opens the avenue for exploration.

My problem is how do I double blind the experiment? I KNOW whether I expect something or not, you see.  I did a minor little version.  On the day the moon was achieving full, I spend a blissful afternoon making candles for a friend.  I was very focused on loading them with the blissful exuberance of a July full moon.  After they were done and fully cooled, I packed them for shipping. Then, thinking of this exact question, knowing how magical the making felt---I went back to where the yet un-posted package (early in the morning and stored out of the sun) was and bent over it.  I put my hands and face about ten inches over the box....and felt a soft warmth rise to my skin!

Part of me yelled internally in exultation, lol.  The other part went "Hey, wait a minute Blondie....you KNEW what was in that box, your expectations are shaping your result." Obviously, I have some work to do on figuring this out.  I mean, in one sense, I do not believe I can be totally scientific, but nor can I be a complete "ooooh, ahhh" idiot about it.  I will suspend my own skepticism just enough to postulate that perhaps I am learning to feel certain sorts of energy in a new way.

Menopause, opening doorways of perception?  Well, perhaps in old traditional societies where women occasionally shamanized, there was a reason for them often not doing it until cronehood? 

[spirit]

I've been thinking hard about this Labrys and your last post almost reaffirms what I'm about to say, so please feel free to tell me I'm a bore. I can only compare your experiences to my own, but I find an absurdly similar aspect which I have now adjusted to without questioning.

I am what we would call a "spiritual" person. I dont box myself or claim to be a Witch of any particular rede; although my practice is more in keeping with traditional solitary (UK, England.)I struggle to place myself; which is fundamental to my point so dont lose faith!!

Anyway, when I was around 4 yrs old I experienced severe sleep paralysis and night terrors. Basically I frightened my family during the night, they felt I was out of control and would speak in a bizarre adult manner which betrayed my cognitive age. This never bothered me.

However, as an adolescent, I began to experience exceptionally strong smells. I would climb on a bus and be overwhelmed by the scent of unbrushed teeth,rotting guts, grease in hair. This didnt stop at negative scents; perfume on women was utterly drowning and artifical to the point where I had to move, or started to itch. This 'phenomenon' if you could call it that, has NEVER gone. There is no explanation, rationality or 'complaint', nor a person I can confide in, but I just accept it as being me.I mentioned it to the GP and he said 'some people smell exceptionally well.'

Similarly I am overwhelmed by noise; I feel assaulted by unexpected volume or background noise.If I start on that, you'll ring the police, I'm sure!! But harsh noise has actually made me ill in the past.

Anyway, my point is unproblematic. I have lived as I am for years, often wondering, just like you, about WHY or WHAT is going on. So often we wont know..I joke these days to my friends about the scent of ear wax on public transport or seriously knowing who hasnt washed. There are no jokes here. Make the most of what you dont know, for it can tarr you with a name, a brand, a condition, if you meet their rules.Enjoy the flush of heat, so long as you're smiling.x 

[Labrys]

I've read your post twice, Spirit, and I have to admit whatever it is you are trying to say about my experience utterly escapes me. 

I don't think a deluge of scents on a crowded public bus would be surprising, and the modern onslaught of noise IS overwhelming. 

I am not feeling a "flush" of heat that is from any certain physical source, nor does it come from inside myself.  So, while I find no mystery in smelly buses or noisy places, I don't see how this compares to what I was talking about.  And I am not sure whose "rules" you think I am meeting, either.

[spirit]

     
I am so very sorry you didnt understand my post.I sometimes struggle to express myself. I wasn't actually trying to compare my experience with yours, or provide you with any answers, I was simply reflecting on the unusualness of things sometimes, whether they originate from inside of us or outside of us, we can be puzzled, or overwhelmed, or just subject to bizarre occurrences.What is unusual to one person may be second nature to others. We sometimes just dont find answers.Sometimes we want to know what something is so much that we try to make it fit something else.Or us people on the magical path look to magic first, rather than ruling out everything else.

If the heat is not from inside you, why did you possibly think it could be menopause related?

[Labrys]

:::eye roll::: We ALL struggle to express ourselves, dont' we?  Obviously, I failed, too.  The mention of menopause was because back when I WAS menopausal, I was (as is typical) very heat reactive.  I noticed a heat source faster than anyone else and flushed in response.  It was the only 'for comparison' example I could think of when describing this new situation.  This new thing is like that only inasmuch that I have that same perception, but now sometimes in the complete absence of a heat source.  And I don't flush in response.

But yes, many sensory experiences can overwhelm.  More so when there is no apparent source.  I guess my biggest question is, as always with me; "What is this FOR?  What am I to do with it?"

[spirit]

You're being chosen for something, without doubt.

[Labrys]

I sure hope not, being "chosen" has not always been very healthy for the individual, lol!

It does get stranger, yet, however.  Talking to my beloved step-mom in Mexico this past week, and relating to her my ideas and experiments with this phenomenon got me a host of "OMG!" exclamations in my ear.  When I finished she told me why---for the last two months, SHE has had the same sort of experiences; this time period relates closely to my own experiences. 

In the past, when this household has had unusual phenomenon (and it has had some oddities), distant relatives who were NOT informed have called to ask what is going on, since they suddenly would notice matching oddities in THEIR locations and it made them wonder what was hitting the fan here.  I told my step-mom that I now wonder if it is less a perceptual change in myself, and more a case of someone/thing dropping in on some kind of 'inspection tour' that is going to include close relatives and friends.

In the past, such similarly odd, but different, occurrences have matched up with new leaps in understanding and personal initiations.  Sooo....time to not 'batten down' the mental hatches, but fling wide the windows to see what I can learn.

[spirit]

Gosh, its amazing!!! How rare is that. Guess you'll just have to wait and see what happens and if there's any family feedback as well.

[Labrys]

Back to an old thread...sorry I neglected to update for so long.  Occasionally still getting this odd 'heat perception' effect, but it has lessened considerably. 

If I have been a bit quieter than usual for me, it is because I seem to be entering a somewhat intense period of study and introspection earlier than usual this year. 

I admit, spiritually speaking, I sometimes seem (even to my willing to experiment self) somewhat rudderless.  I study and work in various pantheons, and while I can't say any of them ever "cut off" in terms of the sensation that "Yes, someone/thing IS listening/attending" it always seems to weaken with time and I feel pushed on towards something new.

But at the same time, the strength of the "push" grows, as if I am heading in the right direction.  Lately, my studies of shamanistic practice and techniques has felt very fertile, many long-tormenting questions seem answered at least partially.  And I do feel there is a connection to the time in my life--now post-menopausal.  I still get a slight sensation of "almost, but not yet" in some of my efforts. 

Today is a good example of the little feelings of "push" I speak of...I was reading before bed last night, a book on Northern Seid Magic, written by an ethnographer and practitioner.  This has been a most useful book to me, and it has ignited the strong wish to actually visit a seidkona and see if I can't get a more direct answer.

There is an Allthing this month, within driving distance and we are going for one day; whether anyone will be sitting the platform and taking questions I don't know, nor do I know if I could actually go and ask!  But this morning, waking early as the Minotaur left for work, I lay in bed thinking about it.  Thinking about it almost to the level of gentle 'pathworking'...and I fell back asleep.  I dreamed, and waking the dream left me a happy accepted sensation even as its details immediately fled; all I recall is being someplace in a car on some important task, and having kittens walk up to my hand as I leaned out the back of the stationwagon like vehicle.  Cats are symbolic of Freyja...and it was Freyja's acceptance of my service I had meant to ask a seidkona about!

Then the phone rang, my son calling to tell me HE had a strange dream and was worried.  As we spoke, I turned on the CD player and hit "random".  The first song was by a group called Heddingarna...they do Finnish music of a style reputedly dating back centuries to Sami tribesmen and shamans.  The book I have been reading refers heavily to tales that seid magic came from the Sami peoples. And it was the song to their Thundergod - equivalent of Thor.  My son, who had hung up, rang back about then to ask me if the sky looked threateningly green to me. And yes, it does have a tinge and is cloudy and thunderstormy.  And it is Thursday (Thor's Day).

See, crazy making bits like a puzzle I don't have all the pieces of yet.  But I keep creeping along the path...