Ryan wants to join the British Army

[Still Kate]

.... Ryan is coming up 14 and he has it in his head that he wants to join the British Army at a Military School next year and go and fight for England and the USA and the free world.
So I have a 14 year old son who, when he turns 15 is wanting to go and shoot guns and learn everything there is to know about killing others at an age when he doesn't even know where his b***s are hanging! And at that time the British government are going to be quite happy to drop him into Iraq on his 16th birthday.

I do believe we should fight the terrorist for 9/11 and I do believe that what the USA and British are doing as a nation is right ...... so right now I am having a very big problem about my first born wanting to go out there too.

I know there are parents whose sons and daughters are out there, they are the bravest of the brave.
I can do no more than offer my thoughts and protection to all of them.

Do I want me son out there ..... NO!!!!
Am I being selfish..... Hell, Yes.
But I can't stop him..... No, I have to let him find his own way but 90% of me wants to handcuff him to a wall until this war is over, the other 10% thinks he need a nappy change, a botle and a warm cot.   

The papers arrive in the post in the next few weeks and he needs my signature.

As A Mother thinks .... "Over my VERY DEAD body"....
As Ryan thinks ..."why not... we should be there"

Both my Grandads fought in WWII, neither came home.
Both my cousins fought in the Fauklands.
Both of them went to Iraq in the first war, so did several friends, three never came home.

I still have 2 mates out there now, I don't know if they are ok.

For Ryan ......... if i give him all the info that I know and support him as much as I can.... and if he REALLY wants to join the British Army.... what can I do?

I think its time to loosen the "Apron strings" and let him do his thing. And at the same time give him all that I am as a mother.

[Feuer Wortel]

As far back as I can remember I have wanted to join the military. When I was 12 I decided that I wanted to join the Navy. I have been in for a little over a year now.

From my experience, there is nothing that can be said to change his mind. The only thing I would recommend is to talk to him. Ask him if he would wait until he was older. I don't know how the military schools work there. I don't know the age requirements or anything like that.

I am not saying I think he should be over there. Hell I don't even think that 18 year olds should be. My suggestion is to talk to him, and give everything a little time to settle.

No matter the decision, my heart goes out to both of you.

[brunosky88]

I think he is too young to be learning how to hold a gun, or how to kill people, and certainly way too young to be in Iraq fighting a war he doesn't understand. What's the point of that war anyway? I'm a pacifist, and don't believe in war, if my child of 15 years old wanted to join the army i wouldn't give him my signature. I think that decision can me made when he turns 18, he is way too young now, god knows what psychological effects that could cause. But you are his mother, the decision is yours.

[Labrys]

...

I know there are parents whose sons and daughters are out there, they are the bravest of the brave.
I can do no more than offer my thoughts and protection to all of them.

Do I want me son out there ..... NO!!!!
Am I being selfish..... Hell, Yes.
But I can't stop him.

I am a parent who will have her youngest son "out there" by the end of the year, unless Fortuna intervenes.  Believe me, bravery has nothing to do with my attitudes.  My husband and I are both vets, as is my eldest son.  Our families have, between us, had men under arms in every war in America's history.  That doesn't mean I think young boys should go.

You CAN stop your son.  You are his mother, it is your right.  He can go and cut apron strings.  He can go LATER, there is absolutely no need for him to go now.  That is my opinion, obviously and you will do as is right for you.  But I think the opinion that your "selfishness" in keeping your son alive long enough to have a more mature opinion on all this happy patriotic stuff needs to be fostered. Consider me the voice of "Gods save the sons, to Hel with Queen and country for the moment."

[Lark]

I'm actually surprised that the British Army will take him so young.  Sure it happened in WWII and the big wars but that was when everyone needed to serve.  Heck, my uncle was only 17 when he was a pilot flying transports over the Himalayas from Burma to China.

That being said, young men who are that young have not yet learned how to make good decisions that really consider consequences, nor are they mature enough mentally to deal effectively with the stresses of combat.  That means that they are actually a liability to the rest of the guys in their squad who have to count on them to think clearly and react quickly.  And protecting the "kid" in the unit has gotten more than one good soldier killed.

Maybe the military is for him.  Maybe he'll make it a career..and it can be a good one.  But if it takes your permission to let him go now then I'd refuse to sign for him.  In the long run he'll be a better soldier for waiting a couple of more years until he is old enough that the law takes the decision out of your hands.  And there may be soldiers in Iraq that he would serve with who would live to come home precisely because he did wait.

-Lark-

[Still Kate]

Hello everyone,
                 Thank you all for your thoughts on this subject.   Yes, Lark, they take them into military school this early to groom them for cannon fodder.

We are on speaking terms now, Jon took him out for a man-to-man talk and it seems to have gone a little way to repairing the mother and son friendship.  I have explained all my reasons for not wanting him to join up BUT we have reached a compromise, in that he'll consider staying on at school and getting some good qualifications and then possibly joining up when he's 18 - 21 at training officer level, if his grades are good enough.

I'm hoping he may see that he'll earn more working in the civillian world and hoping also that a girl may come along who may give him the incentive to stay in ole England!

Fingers crossed!

Best wishes
Kate.