13 year old and love bites (Hickey's)

[Still Kate]

My 13 year old son came home from school today with a hickey / love bite on his neck.    I'm not impressed.

I did have a nose through his mobile, and yes.... I will do that, I pay the bill.... the girl in question is 17.
I have to becarefull as I am a Child worker and hence I have an enhanced Criminal records check with the Metro police in Scotland yard, London, England.   

I'd like to tell this "fruit bat" to stop sucking my sons neck, I'd also like to speak to her parents and failing that speak to the police here if I come up against a brick wall.

I found several explicit text messages on Ryans Phone.

I'm not a happy bunny tonight.   She is in an inbetween age in England, old enough to have sex and vote but not old enough to be treated as an adult.  She could actually be tried for sexual abuse on a minor but also as a minor herself as she is under 18.

Damned if I do and Damned if I don't.

kate. xx

[RedRonin]

So pay somebody to have her legs broken.

A 17 yr old sniffing around my kid would get that treatment.

[Shadow]

I did have a nose through his mobile, and yes.... I will do that, I pay the bill....

It doesn't matter whether you pay the bill or not. He's thirteen and you're his mother, you have, not only a right, but a duty to check up on him.

Have a talk with him. He's enamored with a girl who is older and that is not only an attraction because it makes him feel more mature, it gives him status. The hickey is like a badge to him. It proves to his friends that he is getting farther than they are.

If having a talk with doesn't work, have a talk with the girl and explain the legal aspects of messing around with a boy so young. Also explain the less than legal aspects too. 

Good luck.

[Lark]

This would be very disturbing to me as well.  And one wonders whether your son is the only victim of this girl.  And does he also welcome her attentions or does he simply not know a good way to make it stop?

I would certainly start by talking with your son about this and talking to him about just how far this has gone and why it is a problem.

Instead of talking with the girl, I would suggest speaking with her parents since under British law she is still considered a minor.  And I would show them those explicit messages so they know you aren't simply doing this to spite their daughter.

One thing to think about here is that as soon as you confront your son and the girl's parents a result may be that they try harder to hide their relationship.  This may make it more difficult to monitor what is going on to make sure that this behavior stops.

And if it were me I would think seriously about filing a complaint with the local constabulary right now.  I would think it would be better for you to make the complaint up front than for the police to get involved AFTER something happens that comes to their attention without your input.  I would think that as a Child Worker this would be important in protecting your status and keeping YOUR record clear.

-Lark-

[Rowan CedarWolf]

I have a 14 year old boy and I can tell you personally, I would speak to my son about what's going on first. I would invite this girl and her parents over for tea and speak to them about what's going on as well. I know that if you forbid them to see each other they will only begin to sneak arouond. With my son, I allowed him to see his "girlfriend", but only at my house, when I was home, we would play games together like uno, taboo, and scrabble. One evening we even made cookies. As we got to know the girl we found she had a poor home life, and she would make comments such as I wish my family was like this. She has since moved to another state, and she and my son have ended their relationship, but she still calls to talk to me and my husband and tells us she misses us all the time. So to sum up, it turned out she was making advances on boys in an effort to gain the attention of her parents. Perhaps that is an avenue worth investigating?