Empathy and doctors

[Anonymous]

I've read a number of times that empathy is an important trait in doctors.  I have an interest in medicine, so I decided to shadow a physician for a day to get a feel for the work.  

For the most part, it was fine.  Little old ladies with aches and pains, babies in for checkups, people with colds and minor injuries-- a piece of cake.  Then toward the end of the day, the doctor was called to the emergency room to treat an accident victim ejected from a car.  The kid was already unconscious, so I didn't get anything from him.  But when his mother walked in, oh my god...  I felt like my insides had been ripped out and I almost doubled over in pain.  She punched right through all of my shields, and there was nothing I could do about it.  I don't know if I could handle that on a daily basis.  After today, I'm thinking that maybe a quiet life as a librarian might suit me better.  

Is it even possible to block such an intense emotional reaction?  A mother's fear for her child has to be one of the stongest emotions there is.  I shield fairly well, but I was no match for her.  Even now, I still feel like I've been kicked in the stomach.  I don't see how empathy is any kind of benefit in the medical field.  I think you'd almost have to be emotionally numb just to get through the day.  

[Zenon]

my father in law is one of the most talented and respected surgeons in my region... he's the coldest guy I've ever met.  his sense of humor is horrible.  he's a self-centered p****.

I don't think that if he had any type of empathy he would be able to do his work, which is to look coldly at certain facts and make decisions that could either end in a cure or even death.

[Jennie]

Empathy is very valuable in all forms of healing work...but you have to be able to uinderstand and connect with how people are feeling without letting it overwhelm you or stop you from functioning. You have to be able to shield, and you have to be able to let it come and and go out without getting stuck inside you.

It isn't easy. But it is possible, and worth putting the effort in to if you are called to a healing profession.

Bright blessings,
Jennie

[Fillionous]

I have worked in medical situations. I find that people adopt one of a few stratigies for dealing with what they see / experiance.

The first type become very hard, even calus. Thier humour is dark and they may well take to the Pub after shifts or simply walk away and shut out life. They can be blunt and scientific in speach and are coldly calculating about life choices... somewhat brutally efficiant at thier jobs.
I have often met people like this in the higher grades, surgeons, morgue staff and consultants.
In a way they can get away with it because they have relitivly little contact with patients except when they are unconsious... (that is not to say it is right, that they are like this).

The second are superfically caring, all smiles and sweetness. They will chatter, gossip with collegues and generally act as nice as pie. They are the type that will mutter platitudes to patients and seem incapable of talking in a mature way about a problem, either passing it on to a collegue or wrapping up the most serious questions in baby language.
They get by being basically numb to everythng and just putting on a frount. In a way they are less caring in reality than the first group.
A lot of nursing staff and reception staff fall in here, unfortunetly esspecally those dealing with the elderly.

The third group are the angels... although they would be the last to accept such a name. Somehow they bring real empathy to the job, somehow find time to learn about and engage with thier patients and thier families, while providing the best care that they can. They manage by a blanced use of humour, shielding, an ability to let emotions flow through and a network of thier own family and friends where they can unwind in safety.
They do though run the real risk of getting too close or getting too much and burning out. It is a hard path to walk, but I belive the best in terms of holstic care.
I have met a lot of grass roots nursing staff and ambulance crews that fall into this group, as well as some of the best junior Docs.

Just thoughts,
BE bright, be bold
Fillionous

[Sebbi]

It's true! My dad's a doctor and he is VERY cold a lot of the time.

[mermdotcom]

The first type become very hard, even calus. Thier humour is dark and they may well take to the Pub after shifts or simply walk away and shut out life. They can be blunt and scientific in speach and are coldly calculating about life choices... somewhat brutally efficiant at thier jobs.
I have often met people like this in the higher grades, surgeons, morgue staff and consultants.
In a way they can get away with it because they have relitivly little contact with patients except when they are unconsious... (that is not to say it is right, that they are like this).

There's a TV show called "House" that I'm currently addicted to.  The title character, Dr. Greg House, is this first type and has combinations of the other types on his staff.  It's very interesting to see how they interact, and how the traits of each types can be benefits or downfalls depending on the situation.

[Ara]

The first type become very hard, even calus. Thier humour is dark and they may well take to the Pub after shifts or simply walk away and shut out life. They can be blunt and scientific in speach and are coldly calculating about life choices... somewhat brutally efficiant at thier jobs.
I have often met people like this in the higher grades, surgeons, morgue staff and consultants.
In a way they can get away with it because they have relitivly little contact with patients except when they are unconsious... (that is not to say it is right, that they are like this).

There's a TV show called "House" that I'm currently addicted to.  The title character, Dr. Greg House, is this first type and has combinations of the other types on his staff.  It's very interesting to see how they interact, and how the traits of each types can be benefits or downfalls depending on the situation.

Ah "House," How I love thee...

I wa just thinking--alot of careers, not just those in the medical feild, may have to be like that--develop a calus-ness about their person...

I don't know if anyone here has watched "NCIS" or not, but it's currently my addiction.  Mark Harmon's character, Agent Gibbs, is one of the most calus people I've heard of, but wouldn't you be too, if you saw dead bodies everyday?  I mean, I couldn't do that.  The emotional blow would be terrible.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the replies, and the encouragement.  

Jennie, do you have any tips on how to improve my shielding?  The technique I use now is just something that I developed over time.  When I'm shielding properly, it's like I'm just feeling auras.  I just sense the emotions as if they are external forces, and don't internalize them on any level.  It's not often that anything breaches my shield, but in a profession that deals with life and death, I fear that it could happen on a daily basis.  I have to learn how to deal with this.

Fillionous, I know exactly what you're talking about.  My Dad is an MD, and he definitely falls in the 3rd category.  After he announced his retirement from practice, many of his patients came to the office and cried.  It touched him so deeply that he almost decided not to retire.  I admire him a lot.  Dad's as sensitive as I am, so I don't know how he coped with the emotional stresses of medicine.  I'll have to ask him about it.  

mermdotcom, I've never watched House (I don't watch too much television), but I've heard rave reviews.  I'll try to catch it next week.  It sounds very interesting.  

[Shadow]

It's not as much about sheilding as knowing your job.  The reason most people panic in a situation such as you described is that they haven't any idea what to do about what is going on.  Dealing with a mother whose child is injured takes a bit of training in and of itself.

It may seem illogical to a lay person but knowing your job and being able to act within your training and protocols is very calming to those who are involved but unijured.

The first time Jennie got to see me work an accident she rode away later in total awe of what she had seen.  We were driving along a divided street in Gainesville when a car coming from the opposite direction swerved to avoid a cab that pulled out in front of it, and it rolled over when it hit the divider and ended up coming towards us on its roof.  I avoided the accident and then parked my car and began to assess the scene.  The police must have been just around the corner because there were two of them there in seconds, shouting conflicting orders to everyone and generally adding to the feeling of panic. I simply, calmly told them I was an EMT and that I would take charge of the scene until paramedics arrived.  The one officer was truly relieved the other started to protest until the first told him to go direct traffic.  I then set out to assess and do what treatment I could with what limited resourses I had.  I recuited bystanders to hold pressure on bleeding wounds and help imobilize injuries and generally got things under controll.  By the time the medics arrived I had the patients triaged and basic first aid protocols had been followed, all that was needed was a few pressure bandages, a couple of back boards, and space in the ambulances.  I think the medics started one IV.  Then, once everything was under control and I was no longer needed Jennie and I got into our car and left.

I never once gave into the feeling of panic that was so prevelent on the scene.  I didn't get caught up in the dispare that the victims felt, in fact, my calm bussiness like attitude helped those victims keep their wits about them.  Now, is this because I am not aware or am blocking the feelings of those around me?  No, not at all.  It is because I have been trained by some of the best Emergency Medical Personel in the state, and they taught me how to work under those conditions.  Believe me, I've seen doctors who lose it when they get caught up outside of their nice clean hospitals and find themselves without a nursing staff or any of their gadgets in a muddy street, because it falls outside of their training so they aren't prepared for it.

With proper training you will find that such incidents as the one you described get a lot easier to deal with.

[Rowan CedarWolf]

I must agree with Shadow. I work in dialysis, but I am certified in first aid, I am a CNA and took nursing in college but did not finish. I have seen a code happen with a doctor on the premisses and he not do a thing. Panic is not an option when lives are on the line. I am the type that kicks in with the "okay, what has to be done, and do it" then when it's all over I was a wreck. LOL I don't go to pieces anymore afterward, I have learned after 17 years in my field, it's not an option. Over time you learn how to cope with what is going on and the best way to handle it.
Stacy

[Beith]

Well, I don't work in anything as extreme as a medical profession but do work with young women, sometimes in very challenging situations & many of them with truly horrendous home lives.  I find teenage girls are able to 'punch through' just about any block I can put up - and I thought my blocks were fairly good before I took this job!!  

I decided to give up trying to block them and allow myself to empathise with them instead.  They respond incredibly well, probably because for many of them it's the first time anyone has truly empathised with them.  Like Rowan used to, I often lose it afterwards even though at the time everyone is amazed at how calm I am in the midst of a crisis!

I see my ability to feel emotions along with somebody I am helping as very useful and am slowly learning to separate what belongs to me from what they're feeling.  Most of the time it works, although child abuse cases get to me every time - luckily I don't deal with them every day.

I think you'll learn to use your abilities to be a brilliant healer - hang in there!