Solitaries...

[Anonymous]

Hi all.  Hope this finds you well.

I know that there is a real melange of folk on this board, from many varied traditions, with even more beliefs and practises.  Anyway, I was just wondering how many amongst us would consider themselves to be 'solitary' in their spiritual life, in a physical sense (not entering into realms of spirirtual inter-connection etc. !!)  

I'm just asking really because I am a solitary [practitioner] (not sure about that label) myself, and although I am usually perfectly content I can sometimes feel that it can feel a little insular!  

I guess the benefits of being solitary are far-reaching: I do not have to feel inhibited, or constrained to others' ideas, and schedules etc... but sometimes I feel that it would be nice to share this side of my life with other people.

Apart from such forums as this I have no ready access to a magickal community and I'm not even sure that I would want to be part of a specific group really.  It's just that sometimes it would be nice to have a discussion with someone about what I believe, and how I live without them regarding me as: at best a curiosity, or worse a proper weirdy!!!  And also the idea of having a mentor is pretty appealing, as the more that I learn, the more I realise that I know NOTHING! hahaha

So, the point (at last) is, who amongst us is solitary, and what do you find to be the pro's and con's, and have you ever considered approaching a coven/group etc?  

I would find any thoughts on this topic interesting.
Even if this post wasn't very!

Blessings, Npf x

[RedRonin]

I fall under that heading.

There's no particular mindset I lean toward and actually tend to be of a Taoist frame of mind more than anything else.

And there's no group that would put up with me for any length of time.

I tend to grow on people........

[NachtSorcier]

I also am a solitary.  I'd like to join a coven someday, but I have reservations about doing so because I don't "play well with others."

[Anonymous]

Yup.  I fit that mold as well.  

Although I sometimes wish I were part of a group, I find my personal beliefs are important enough to me that I don't really want to fit in with anyone else.  There have been some opportunities, but I haven't gone there...or maybe I am just anti-social.  I am definately private.  

[Sebbi]

I think what you're meaning to ask is "coven vs. solitary - what's everyone's view?" but it could be interpreted many ways.

In terms of mooting with people of similar paths to my own (remember I'm not actually pagan) and engaging in some sort of tangable spritual practice I don't do that. However, my path is an intensely collaborative path that encompasses my creative projects of various kinds, my emotional journey, my search for connection and meaning in life and despite a certain degree of independance, I wouldn't be where I was now if it wasn't for the people I have around me.

I work with people on a very regular basis who share extremely similar beliefs and philosophies and there is a sense that we're not just collaborating on whatever project it is but that we're engaging in spiritual communion at the same time.

So in a way, arguably, I'm not a solitary spiritual practioner.

All that said, I don't think I'd say that there's a particular group of people who I work with on a regular enough basis to say we reselmble anything that could come close to being called "a spiritual group" - the closest thing to that is my band, but they see the band as a purely musical (and yes, business) venture, rather than seeing it interelated with any spiritual path of theirs. So they don't count.

Much Love
Sebbi

[Anonymous]

I don't play well with others either ......  I'm not anti-social but I 've never done the giggly girlie thing or coffee mornings either.   So I prefer to follow my choosen path on my own. That way I don't have to conform to anyone elses ideals.  If I have questions, that I can't find answers to in books etc, I ask them here.    You may get 10 answers the same or ten answers that are all different and then decide for yourself.    
Being solitary doesn't make your rituals any less effective and you don't HAVE to be a member of a coven to call yourself a Wiccan / Pagan / Witch, or whatever path you choose to follow.    
There may be a lot to be gained by group worship, so to speak but there can also be downsides.  As I have said before, I was taught by a guy, who was a friend, but who also had another motive. I wasn't interested and it caused tension and problems. And the more I learnt the more I realised that his path didn't exactly follow mine.     Until I found this site I was pretty much on my own with only books for reference - but I learn't alot.
There are obviously many groups out there who are genuine, and some people who are not. Choose carefully if you wish to join or find a teacher but its not necessary. There aren't any hard and fast rules.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I guess the question 'solitary vs. coven, discuss' would have sufficed... unless it sounds too much like a football match, or essay title!

I see that I didn't really differentiate between the two spheres of contact with a 'magickal community'.  These being in a practising sense e.g. communal rituals etc and contact in a more informal, social moot sort of sense.

Like some people who have already posted their thoughts (ta very much) I think that I enjoy being quite free and private in the way that I do things, but it would be nice to enjoy a sense of community also.  I have not really been lucky enought to come across many folk for whom their idea of being a witch extnded past burning insense, watching Charmed and buying books called 101love spells, or some other general junk!

Oh well, such is life, and I guess that people will come along, like love, when I'm least expecting it!!!

Hopefully, maybe...

Blessings, Npf x

[Fillionous]

I found my path a good few years ago. At that point I did not even have a name for what I did.

I followed patterns of seasons, watched nature and felt a close assosiation with it, I cast 'small' magics and meditated (although I did not know that word for what I was doing either) - working with herbs and the elements around me to heal, comfort, connect with nature, Divinity etc. Just seeking out a balance between me and the Universe.

So in a way I was the ultimate solitery.

I briefly joined a multi-faith / pagan / wiccan group while at University. They gave me 'names' for what I did and I did feel that there were some similarities in what they were seeking and what I was doing. But somehow I had fallen into my own path too firmly to really join in sucsessfully with what they were doing, plus a lot were still very much seeking (not actually doing) and others were playing... lots of 101 wiccans and band wagon jumping. I was not quite so sure of my way to be able to cope with that. So while it was an interesting experiance, I moved away with no regrets and continued to practice solo.

I still would discribe my practice as solitery and while I sometimes regret not having real life company to practice or learn or just chatter with, I have fairly well accepted that this will happen if it is ment to be and that with my unique path and sometimes rough independant personality, it is unlikely that I will fit into any preformed group. (So it is probably best that I am solo.)
I have contact with pagan type people across the net - for the most part that satisfies my need for spiritual / pagan convasation.

Be bright, be bold
Fillionous

[Anonymous]

I too am solitary.   Maybe too solitary.  (Does that make sense?)Not a single person from my family or friends know of my chosen path.  It hasn't been as difficult as I'd originally thought it would be, but I do sometimes yearn for a 'sense of community' also.   I've never really felt  the need to be part of a coven, I guess I'm too private for that.  I would like to someday be able to actually talk with someone with similar beliefs though.  But until then, forums like this works quite well.
Ellie

[Zenon]

I think everyone is a solitary seeker.

The individual is most important anyway, since a group is a sum of its parts.

A "solitary" is just as good as a person who works within a group, the level of commitment and depth of study and practice being what differentiates a true student from total fluff.

In my opinion everyone should start out working alone; being subject to what other people think is right in something as personal as a magical or religious path is just too bad for someone trying to find a personal identity.  Besides that, "group mentality" just plain sucks... Don't let your poor neurons and synapses be victims of that.

[Lark]

I worked as a solitary for about a year before I found the right group for me.

I've been running my own coven now since 1996, and I love being part of a magical family.  Yet even though I hold rituals for the coven and do things with them, there are still things that I do just by myself.  That's really true of most coven folk, we never totally give up being a bit of a solitary as well.  After all, our deepest spiritual changes are an extremely personal thing.

-Lark-

[Anonymous]

To be honest, I think it will be the solitary way for me (in terms of spiritual practice at least!)  And it's probably just as well 'cos I'm fairly eclectic, spontaneous, and at times even quirky!  

I do agree with all of you folks that have said that in essence, it is a private aspect of our lives, and if a person can't be happy in the company of themselves, and The Divine, well...!  That being said, I think I will always be a little jealous of people who have a solid, and understanding community with which to explore and practice their spiritual beliefs.

Blessings, Npf x